Even before Jen and Kirk met, they had both thought separately about becoming foster carers. It wasn’t until they saw an information session on foster care advertised through Anglicare Victoria that they decided to find out more about it as a family.
Jen and Kirk made the decision to ease into the caring experience by doing some respite care. After a couple of years of this they were invited to provide specialist foster care to a 12-year-old with complex needs.
“Jamie* came to us after spending three months in a residential care home. The team at Anglicare Victoria were really keen to get her into a home where she could feel safe and supported by a family,” the couple said.
“We’re a blended family, we have six kids between us. Some weeks are very busy and then others more quiet – it can be particularly noisy when our three teenage girls are home! We had a baby daughter at the time too, she was at the age where she needed a lot of care and attention, so someone would always be at home to spend time with Jamie and support her.”
“There were some difficult times during Jamie’s stay with us, but the good times completely outshine the bad. It reminds me of when you’re expecting your first baby – everyone tells you what it’s going to be like, but you don’t really know until you’re going through it yourself! You have the sleepless nights for example, but you don’t dwell on them because you get these little moments that are just so rewarding, and it makes it all worthwhile.”
“We’ve seen Jamie make enormous steps forward. I think her knowing that we weren’t going anywhere helped her feel at home with us. She absolutely loves spending time with Nina – our youngest – and the challenging behaviours she arrived with have stopped occurring.”
“People often ask us how we go about saying goodbye to someone after they’ve been a part of your family for more than a year, but thankfully it doesn’t really happen like that. Jamie has now gone to a foster carer that also looks after her younger brother. We’ve now become her respite carers, so she still comes to stay with us every other weekend. It also makes it easier because we are so happy with where she has gone to live now; the fact she is back under the same roof as her brother is such a wonderful outcome for everyone.”
“For us it has just been such a joy getting to know Jamie. You get to see the young person past their behaviours. Often people who hadn’t seen Jamie for a while would tell us how much she’s changed since being with us – things that you don’t necessarily notice day to day; that she’s more chatty and confident for example, or that she’s looking you in the eye when she’s talking to you.”
Since Jamie’s placement ended, Jen and Kirk have continued to care for older children and teenagers. They’re currently looking after two siblings from the same family.
“We always have a break between having one young person leave and the next one arrive, it means we can have a period of reflection, to talk about how we can improve as foster parents, and to reconnect as a family.”
“The most important thing for us is that the young person knows that our home is always a safe and consistent place for them to be. If and when they want to open up to us, we’re here, and we’ll provide a warm and welcoming home for as long as they need it.”
For more information about becoming a foster care with Anglicare Victoria, please visit anglicarevic.org.au/fostering