Every year 65,000 Australians attempt to take their own life while 1 in 6  Australians will experience depression or anxiety in their lifetime. Pair that with the challenging past few years of lockdowns and it is understandable that some of our friends may be doing it tough. Here are some ways that you can support your buddies if you can see that they are struggling.

Pick the right moment to have a conversation

A conversation can change a life, which is what R U OK? is all about. Their website has a range of resources that can help prepare you for a conversation with a friend who needs it. 

According to the site, when it comes to preparing for a conversation with someone who you know is struggling, ask yourself the following:

  • Are you ready to have the conversation? Are you in a good headspace? Are you ready to listen? Can you give as much time as is needed at the moment that you start the conversation?
  • Are you prepared? Ie. Do you understand that they might say that they are not OK? Do you understand that you can’t fix their problems?
  • Have you picked the right moment? Is this a good time for them to chat? Do you have time to have a long conversation if it takes a while? Are you in a comfy and private space? 

Once you’re ready, there are four simple steps you can take to navigate the conversation: ALEC – Ask, Listen, Encourage Action and Check in.

Ask the question your way

You don’t need to use the words ‘Are you OK?’. Ask in any way that feels right for you and your relationship with that person. Help them open up by asking questions like ‘How are you going?’ or ‘What’s been happening?’. You might want to point out things you’ve noticed that have made your concerned for them, in a non-critical way.

Listen with an open mind

The key to helping someone who is going through a hard time is to listen. It is important to remember that you can’t “fix” someone else’s problems, so interrupting them to offer solutions or undermining why they feel a certain way is unlikely to make them feel heard. By being someone who they can talk to in a non judgemental way, may let them get some of their pain out and may encourage them to take action to help themselves. 

Encourage them to seek help/ take action 

Encourage your buddy to seek help and take action. Seeking professional advice is key when it comes to depression, anxiety and thoughts of suicide. 

Here you can ask them questions such as

“What have you done previously to manage similar situations?”

“How can I support you?”

“When I was going through a difficult time, I tried this. You may find it to be useful too.”

Also be positive about the role of professionals in terms of seeking them out when going through tough times. Speaking in a tone of saying “you will get through it” or allowing them to speak in that tone will take away a key tool that could really help them

Continue to check in with them.

Make sure you keep checking in on your friend, both to ask them if they are OK, but also to show that you are there for them.

Support causes that encourage conversation, such as Tread As One

R U OK? Is a brilliant charity that shares the message around how to have a conversation with a mates when they need it, and how to identify if you need to check in on someone who is having a hard time. 

One of their biggest fundraising moments of the year aside from R U OK? Day, is Tread As One which is hosted at Anytime Fitness clubs across the country. This year they hope to raise $300K.

Tread As One is taking place from between 22-29 October 2022, the challenge invites participants to fundraise by walking, running or even dancing on a treadmill to clock up as many km’s as possible. Registrations are open now at www.TreadAsOne.com.au

A local gym community, such as Anytime Fitness, is a great place to boost feel-good endorphins through regular exercise, however it also strengthens a member’s sense of belonging, as research shows that people are at less risk of suicide when they connect with others.

In addition to raising funds to help share the message and provide free resources, getting behind an event like this is a great conversation starter and will hopefully show the people who are in need that is is OK to speak up.