Christmas is often referred to as the most wonderful time of the year, but for newly separated families it can be a challenging and difficult time. It can be common for parents and children to feel a range of mixed emotions, and parents can often feel ill equipped to help themselves, and their children, as everyone adjusts to new traditions and arrangements.
Here are some tips that can make the process a little easier.
- Check parenting plans or parenting orders for special occasion arrangements
Many separated parents have parenting plans or parenting orders in place which detail parenting and care arrangements for the children. When parenting plans or parenting orders are in place commonly, they include arrangements for the children during special occasions, such as Christmas. As a starting point, in the lead up to special occasions parents should check any parenting plans or parenting orders so they understand what arrangements apply. Checking parenting plans or parenting orders well in advance of special occasions means there is time to seek help if there are any issues or concerns, or if there are changes to be proposed.
- Communicate early
When there are no parenting plans or parenting orders in place, or when parenting plans and parenting orders don’t include specific arrangements for special occasions, parents will need to agree about arrangements. The best approach for communicating about arrangements depends on all the individual circumstances, but if there are family violence orders in place it is best to seek legal advice from a family law prior to communicating. Being organised and starting the process early is wise because if agreement can’t be reached there is still time to seek professional advice.
- Consider the children’s views
Christmas is a special and magical time of year for children. Where appropriate, allowing children an opportunity to share their views and be part of shaping new traditions can be empowering for children. It ensures they continue to see Christmas a special and wonderful time.
- Focus on the Positives
Once parenting arrangements have been determined for the festive season focus on working with the arrangements to make it a positive and special experience. Be aware that after separation Christmas will look and feel different to what it used to but take it as an opportunity create new traditions and experiences.
- Reach out for support
It can be natural to feel sad when you are away from your children during special occasions. When you won’t be with your children plan activities, so you don’t feel lonely and upset. Visiting extended family, arranging to catch up with another single parent, volunteering with a community group or reaching out to a faith community all provide opportunities for support and connection.
Separated parents who have questions about parenting arrangements either generally, or in relation to special occasions, can contact New Way Lawyers, Australia’s first non-profit family law firm. New Way Lawyers practices exclusively in family law and they also offer an online facebook group called; Lunch with a Lawyer. Every week day between 12pm-1pm New Way Lawyers dedicated family lawyers provide information and answer questions about family law for free.
Visit Lunch with a Lawyer here Lunch with a Lawyer | Facebook
