Who doesn’t love a good dad joke? What better way to honour all the dads out there this Father’s Day than to give them a taste of their own medicine. Read on for a good chuckle!
Dad jokes
- Did you hear about the deaf shepherd? He gathered his flock and heard
- Did you hear about the blind carpenter? He picked up the hammer and saw
- What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride? “Damn that was a hard drive.”
- What kind of bird doesn’t know the words to their own song? A hummingbird
- My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list… Now I can’t read anything.
- The school phoned me today and said, “Your son’s has been telling lies. ” I replied, “Tell him, he’s bloody good. I don’t have any kids.”
- Why did the bullet end up losing his job? He got fired.
- Dad: what do you do when you are in the wrong seat? I stand corrected
- I would love to get paid to sleep. It would be a dream job.
- Why doesn’t James Bond fart in bed? Because, it would blow his cover.
- I had a legless dog called Cigarette. Every morning I took him out for a drag.
- How does a computer get drunk? It takes screen shots.
- I just swallowed a stack of Scrabble tiles by accident. My next poop could spell disaster.
- What does a baby computer call his father? Data.
- Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
- Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores.
- I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged.
- I used to run a dating service for chickens. But I was struggling to make hens meet.
- I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away. At least it does if you throw it hard enough.