Who doesn’t love a good dad joke? What better way to honour all the dads out there this Father’s Day than to give them a taste of their own medicine. Read on for a good chuckle!

Dad jokes

  1. Did you hear about the deaf shepherd? He gathered his flock and heard
  2. Did you hear about the blind carpenter? He picked up the hammer and saw
  3. What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride? “Damn that was a hard drive.”
  4. What kind of bird doesn’t know the words to their own song? A hummingbird
  5. My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list… Now I can’t read anything.
  6. The school phoned me today and said, “Your son’s has been telling lies. ” I replied, “Tell him, he’s bloody good. I don’t have any kids.”
  7. Why did the bullet end up losing his job? He got fired.
  8. Dad: what do you do when you are in the wrong seat? I stand corrected
  9. I would love to get paid to sleep. It would be a dream job.
  10. Why doesn’t James Bond fart in bed? Because, it would blow his cover.
  11. I had a legless dog called Cigarette. Every morning I took him out for a drag.
  12. How does a computer get drunk? It takes screen shots.
  13. I just swallowed a stack of Scrabble tiles by accident. My next poop could spell disaster.
  14. What does a baby computer call his father? Data.
  15. Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
  16. Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores.
  17. I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged.
  18. I used to run a dating service for chickens. But I was struggling to make hens meet.
  19. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
  20. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. At least it does if you throw it hard enough.

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Check out where Mama has been shopping lately!